Total Eclipse of the Heart
by Kaslyna
Summary: He comes when it's dark, when there's no chance of seeing the pain on her face. Is love enough? Will it ever be enough for them? Spoilers for all Fringe; AU, post-Marionette with hints of the recent episodes.


**A/N: I honestly do not know where this came from. :/ Just so much angst. D: Anyways, I am very sorry if this is OOC; it's AU, after all! :P Am sorry if I offend anyone and blah blah blah.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Damn.**

* * *

_Once upon a time there was light in my life  
But now there's only love in the dark  
Nothing I can say  
A total eclipse of the heart _

_~Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler_

* * *

He comes when it's dark outside, when she lies awake in her bed tortured with images of them together. They don't speak; they just feel.

Tonight is no different. It's late and Olivia's been tossing and turning for at least a good six hours or so. She hears the key in the lock and her breathing hitches as she tries not to cry because she gave him a key. Olivia knows when he's in her room; she doesn't bother to open her eyes. It would make it too painful, too shameful, too real for her to bear.

Her breathing slows and she whispers one word, "Yes."

When her permission is given he divests her of her clothes, then his, and lies beside her on the bed, content with merely watching her. He doesn't kiss her lips; to do so would be far too intimate. Instead his lips and hands caress her body, loving the way her muscles tighten beneath his touch. Peter gently glides his tongue and teeth down her neck to her breasts, lazily attacking them. Olivia gasped from where she lay beneath him and he grinned wickedly. She smirked a little as she grabbed him, gently guiding him to her entrance, wanting him hard and fast. He complied, sliding gently into her.

Their rhythm was slow, sweat-slick bodies rocking together, the only sounds grunts and moans as they consummated. She cried out hoarsely as her orgasm ripped through her, a blinding supernova in a dark space. He soon followed after her, both of them riding out a secret storm.

When they finally crashed to Earth he pulled out of her and rolled on his side away from her. She reached out and stroked a hand tenderly down his back, her way of telling him that they were okay. Then she closed her eyes, sighed, and fell asleep.

POPOPOPO

When Olivia woke, Peter was gone and she could smell coffee. This was how all their liaisons ended; and yet, she still felt a sharp, unwanted pang of disappointment in her heart. She stretched, feeling a little sore, and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Her eyes closed and she fought the urge to cry. Then she padded into the bathroom. When she'd used the toilet, Olivia brushed her teeth before stepping under the stinging, hot, sharp spray of her shower. It felt like burning nails pelted her; she relished the feeling as a different source of pain.

Breakfast was quick; a toasted bagel and coffee while the news played low in the background. Olivia made a mental note to call Rachel later that day when-if-she got some free time to do so. Sighing, Olivia pinched the bridge of her nose and wondered for the umpteenth time what the hell they were doing.

The drive to the lab was short and uneventful; she nodded in acknowledgment at Peter and greeted Astrid coolly; Walter was nowhere to be found. Olivia walked briskly to her office, intent on finishing the accumulating mountain of paperwork left from her time Over There.

Another cup of coffee was placed before her shortly after ten; without looking up, Olivia muttered her thanks. Peter stood awkwardly, hesitating; when he saw that she wasn't responding he sighed heavily, gave up, and left, the tension between them expanding, if such a thing were even possible at this point.

Olivia felt a little guilty, but what did he expect? It'd been like this between them for almost two weeks now; yet it felt like an eternity with all the unspoken words and emotions scrubbed raw and burning. He didn't swing by every night; he came when he felt like it. In total, they'd had sex six times, and talked about it never... unless you counted the first 'morning after' in which he'd asked if they were okay in the lab and she'd responded with a terse 'not now'. This was how it was; professionalism reigned during the day, but when dark crept in, he'd come by if he felt like it. They would have sex and fall asleep on opposite ends of the bed, emotional distance too great; he'd be gone in morning and coffee would be brewing for Olivia. They didn't wake up at night, they didn't kiss, they didn't speak, and they sure as hell didn't look in the other's eyes; all would make this far too real for either of them.

Reality was harsh and cruel to both of them; it was easier to pretend that they were just two people with a normal, healthy relationship, whereas in reality, Olivia was beginning to believe that she'd never be in another 'real' relationship again; she was doomed to this aimless purgatory in which two tortured souls continuously came together over and over again because the other was the only one who could possibly understand the depth of pain they were in. They'd never be a normal couple; they'd just continue teetering on the edge of hell, getting as close as they possibly could to love in such dark times.

Olivia sighed and scrubbed a hand down her face, chastising herself for once again losing focus. What right did he have, lingering like that? A flash of anger surged through her, but it wasn't just anger and it wasn't just directed at Peter. It was shame, guilt, anger, sadness, hurt, betrayal, and it was for her, too. She didn't know why the hell he bothered to come around... if she thought she'd been broken before, well she'd been wrong; now she was shattered and yet, he still gave her the time of day and it confused and fascinated her at the same time.

She knew people suspected; thankfully, no one had the balls to call their bullshit when Olivia canceled on Rachel or when Peter called Astrid to watch Walter at ten o'clock in the evening with the lame excuse of going for a walk. It all came down to needing someone; she needed him and he needed her, and that was as close as they were going to get to a healthy relationship... or love.

Even still, it was difficult for Olivia, and she knew one day, one day soon, she'd snap and either quit him cold turkey or take her gun to her head and pull the trigger. Either way, their affair-it wasn't really boyfriend/girlfriend-would end in disaster and disappointment, no doubt about it.

At this rate, Olivia would never get any work done, ever.

POPOPOPO

Noon rolls around, and with it, Peter comes in with Indian takeout; another 'tradition' of theirs, saved solely for the 'day after', as she bitterly dubbed it. Still, Olivia is starving and it's her favorite, Indian, so she sure as hell won't complain.

"I would've brought whiskey, too, but you would've yelled at me," he teased, sitting across from her, "How're you doing, Livia?"

She sighed, "Good, I guess. Thanks."

"No problem," he bit his lower lip, shook his head, sighed, "What the hell are we doing, Liv?"

"Peter..." she warned.

He shrugged, grinning a little now, "Whatever."

"We need to talk about this," she admitted softly, "But we're not ready. I'm not ready."

He nodded his agreement, "Okay. Sure. But promise we will talk? Eventually?"

Olivia nodded, "Yup."

She unpacked the food, "Thanks, Peter. You didn't have to."

He shrugged, "Yeah, I know. You keep telling me that, Olivia. If not for me, would you honestly feed yourself enough?"

She laughed, "You got me there."

Peter smiled softly, sadly, "I care about you."

"I know you do," Olivia sighed, eyes fluttering shut briefly, "I care about you, too."

They ate in contemplative silence, though it was calmer than before. Astrid barged in halfway through when Olivia was deciding whether or not to just kiss him and take him in her office; though she hadn't acted, nor voiced her thoughts, Olivia blushed furiously when Astrid told Peter that she needed him in the lab to convince Walter that giving caterpillars steroids would not turn them into giant monsters. Peter rolled his eyes, smirked, and left Olivia with a glint in his eye that told her that he knew what she'd been thinking and that he'd be by later.

Olivia sighed, buried her face in her hands, and muttered under her breath, "God, kill me now..."

POPOPOPO

Peter debated between going over at seven or eleven like he usually did; on the one hand, he wanted to have a sense of normalcy with her, but on the other, he couldn't risk losing her again. Eventually, he compromised, showing up at nine that night with a bottle of her favorite whiskey, hopefully to make up for the fact that he just wanted to spend more time with her.

She opened the door, confused and yet somehow pleased that he'd swung by earlier. Grinning, she yanked him in and kissed him fiercely, pushing him against the door before he'd had a chance to fully comprehend what the hell she was doing. He gently removed her, hugging her tightly before pushing her away.

"Hey," he said huskily with a breathless chuckle.

"Hey, yourself," she grinned, laughing, "I was just about to call Rachel."

"Oh, I'm sorry..."

"Oh, no you don't. You're not backing out now," she smirked, "Come on. Is that whiskey? Let me go get us some glasses."

Thirty minutes and two glasses of whiskey later, Peter and Olivia found themselves making out on the living room floor. He stood, dragging her giggling with him to the bedroom; the adrenaline, hormones, and liquor had taken a toll on her, and no doubt would she have a hangover come morning. They fell unceremoniously onto the bed, fumbling with buttons and zippers, laughing at the absurdity. She was smiling when he kissed and touched her; she was smiling still when he entered her body and began a fast, yet steady, rhythm.

They came over the edge together; as usual he rolled to his side, but this time she spooned herself gently against his back with a pleasurable sigh.

"Peter?"

"Yeah, Liv?" he whispered.

"This is nice. Thank you," then she yawned.

"You're welcome," he chuckled, a little amused, "Sleep."

She nodded, "Okay."

She did just that; a few restless minutes of tossing and turning later, Peter joined her in slumber, content and at peace for once in his life.


End file.
